We are cruising along in this journey of creating an amazing life!
(If you’d rather watch the video rather than reading, click here)
In tip #17 we talked about the difference between creating goals and creating experiences.
I mentioned how there’s a big difference between motivation and inspiration so I want to talk a little bit more about that today.
I have conversations regularly with clients who say that they just need motivation or they need to be more disciplined to have the experiences that they say that they desire.
They tell me that if they could just be more disciplined or just find the motivation they are able to accomplish anything…. but, they can’t seem to find it.
Which is pretty much true for most people. That’s because they keep looking for something outside of themselves.
I’ll Explain this in 2 stories.
A few years ago I was working with a woman who was a chef and said that she wanted to create educational cooking videos every day for her YouTube channel.
She said that as her coach it was my job to check in with her every day to hold her accountable to make sure that she created a video.
That sounded like hell to me! I have no interest in checking in every day with making sure that people did something and here’s why…
I asked her to think about something that she’s done in her life that she was really proud of.
She said that it was taking care of her dog that she once had and loved a ton.
I asked her to think about when she first got the dog and if she had to have the place where she got the dog to call her every day to make sure that she fed the dog.
She said “no.”
I asked her if she checked in with them every day to let them know that she took the dog out for a walk.
She said “no.”
I asked her if they needed to call her every day to remind her to let the dog out to go to the bathroom.
She said “no.”
I then asked her why was it that she did not have to check in with them or have them check in with her to make sure that she was taking care of the dog.
She said that it was because she was the dog’s owner, she loved the dog and it was just part of who she was to do those things.
When she said that lightbulb went off for her.
She realized that she took care of the dog because she believed that she was the dog’s owner and because of her love for him it was just what she did — she didn’t need any prompting or accountability, she did it because it was WHO she was.
Because she had not taken on the identity of someone who provided educational cooking videos, she felt like she needed an outside source to push her… which never last for anyone.
Here’s another story.
I met this woman who is a fellow Italian who, when she learned that I didn’t eat gluten (bread, pasta, pastries) said, “I could never have that much discipline.”
I replied to her, “I really don’t have any discipline, but I do have is clarity about who I want to be, which is someone who has a flat belly, high energy, and has clarity of mind. When I eat gluten I don’t experience any of those things. So it’s not a matter of having discipline just being clear on how I want to feel and what I want to experience.”
When we get clear on who we want to be and what we want to experience we are inspired to do the actions to make it happen.
If we aren’t connected with the feelings and the experience, that’s when we need others to motivate us.
I’m not saying that we don’t all need a little encouragement every once in a while, but if you need somebody to hold you accountable every day or to “motivate” you every day, it’s not really something you want to do.
That’s when you need to take some time with yourself to get really clear on what it is that you want to experience, feel the feelings of what it would be like to have that experience and from there create your actions.
Today’s Tip: You don’t need discipline and motivation, you need inspiration. On the days when you’re not feeling it, take some time to reconnect with the feelings you desire to feel, feel what it will be like when you are in that experience then take action.